The Grief Deck: Rituals, Meditations, and Tools fo…

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From the Publisher

Tips for Using the Deck for Individuals

Set aside time for yourself to go through the prompts.Find or make a quiet space for yourself.Look closely at the images.Let the images guide you to an action or prompt you might not have considered.Use a journal to capture your journey.Some of the prompts encourage you to make something. Don’t worry about whatever you create being a great artwork-this is about the process.Be open to the feelings that arise.Stop when you want to stop.Have a plan for what you can do in case pain or sadness arises.Consider asking someone else who is grieving to join you as you work with the cards.

Tips for Using the Deck for Groups or as a Family

Choose a single card and prompt to frame your work either together as a group or independently in between meetings. Have each person choose a different card and work with that prompt in between meetings. Have people organize into pairs or groups of three to support each other’s work and share more intimately their experiences with the prompts. Explain the cards and how you intend to use them with the group. (no surprises) If it is a craft or art project or a ritual, make sure you have assembled everything in advance. Some of the prompts may bring up strong and unexpected feelings. Make sure you have the tools and/or capacity to hold whatever might come up.

Sample Artwork and Prompts

Hold Yourself in Grief

Be gentle with your body through this loss.

Find a safe and comfortable space to sit or lie down. Breathe. Name your grief out loud. Cry for as long as you need to. Place your hand on your heart and speak to your lost loved one—whatever you want to say. Hold and comfort your body as though it were your beloved dead.

Ritual of Remembrance

I didn’t know I thought about my mom every day until I had to wake up and remind myself that she was dead. Now, I wake up and remind myself she lived.

Gather on a tray: pen, paper, candle, lighter, and an item of remembrance of your loved one. Write a note to them about how they lived. Place the letter on the tray and take the tray outside. Light the candle and sit quietly. Burn the letter as an offering. Breathe deeply in for three counts, and hold for three counts. Forcefully breathe all the air out for three, and hold for three. Repeat twice. Blow out the candle. Gently hug yourself.

Disappearing Place

Remember a vanished place of personal importance.

Describe it by writing or speaking of it.

Grief and Love

In grief we feel the intense loss of a loved one. It can help us to remember that love is an infinite resource. The love we feel extends not only to those people, animals, or spirits who are with us, but also to those who have gone before us and are still to come. Take a moment to write down the names of loved ones who have died and place them in a bowl. You can name their specific qualities, or just express gratitude and love for their presence in your life. Read each name out loud. The dead can be loved ones you know personally or not, individuals or community groups, inspiring leaders, humans or other living beings, from other historical periods. Don’t limit yourself—love is an infinite resource!

Letting Go

Visit a river or stream and bring a flower. Place the flower in the water. As you watch the flower drift downstream, keep your eye on it for as long as you can, until it becomes a tiny spot in the distance. When it has drifted out of sight, close your eyes for a moment and then open them up to everything that is still around you: the plants, the sun, the wind, the water. This can help you remember that everything is in motion and on a course. Even once something has drifted out of sight, it is still on a journey to somewhere new.

Remember Your Ancestors Generously

remember and count your ancestors, generously you are not alone

find the place that knows this inheritance well­—the nook of your elbow, the curve of your hair, let yourself feel some light-the wind against, your back, the smell of morning rain carries you

you are not a spider’s web, you are not a gray pillowcase crumbled remember and feel company, the chatter of many voices, the smell of home cooking in the background go there, breathe, ask for what you need

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Princeton Architectural Press (October 18, 2022)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1648961444
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1648961441
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4 x 1.35 x 5.75 inches